not a choice…

I have been facing a few challenges lately with being the Mama of that “kid”.  You know the one with the quirks.  The one who has the meltdown because things are not going his way.  The one who makes the noises.  The one that can’t look you in the eye and you think they are ignoring you. I am that Mama at the store that people look at and then away.
Yes I AM!  I AM the Mama to an amazing child and gift from God.  Yes, we may not be “normal” but what is normal anyways. We were chosen by God to be this beautiful boys parents. 

I AM the Mama to a child with Autism, Asperger’s to be exact with a side of OCD, ADHD and SPD.   I often joke that we have Alphabet soup behind our name.  I am writing this today to let my fellow “Superhero” Parents and friends that we are here for each other and to support each other.  Lately I have had some friends facing some rough times with “fitting” their piece into the mainstream puzzle and it has really spoke to me.  I have been there.  I keep remembering to take a deep breath, pray and I count to 10 a lot.   I have learned to speak up and am teaching Cameron to advocate for himself too.  Thank you Ms. Anna K for that reminder. 

I am grateful to be at a school that does a pretty good job of inclusion, not perfect but we are getting there.  We have STM for All and the support of Friends of FIRE.  These two programs help keep my “gift” and others in a regular classroom and help in the fight for an Inclusive Religious Education.

I am grateful to be in an amazing network of friends at that school.   (We refer to each other as the Real Housewives of STM or RHSTM.)  I am grateful to be on this journey with Mr. Miller.  I am grateful for my family and my faith.  Without all of these components I couldn’t do what I do.

I was cruising Facebook this morning and a gal I love at Autism With a Glass of Wine had a great picture and caption this morning.  Head over to her page, give her a big ol’ LIKE.  She might enlighten your world just as she has mine.  

“I am beautiful not broken.  Different not less.  Challenged not challenging. 

Overwhelmed, not spoiled.  Autism is not a choice.

However, acceptance is.”

Remember the next time you are at the store, park or wherever that child who isn’t “normal” in your eyes might not have a choice in how they are feeling and how they are reacting in the moment, but you do.

pancakes

Pancakes for breakfast not such a crazy idea right?  I have a secret to admit here, I have never made pancakes truly from scratch.  Yes, I have bought the Krusteaz Mix and done that but when I say from scratch I mean pull out your inner Olivia Walton along with the flour, baking powder, eggs and milk.  I have often spoke of my unhealthy affair that I have with Pinterest well when Junior Mint asked for pancakes one morning I got brave.  Really it just gave me an excuse for a rendezvous with my obsession.  I looked and found a great and simple recipe, of course it was a “good thing” as it came from Martha.  Basic Pancakes, so easy that Junior Mint got in on the action himself.  I found some blueberries in the old Frigidaire (pardon my reference to Steel Magnolia’s) and threw them in too.  Let’s just say it met to Junior Mint’s approval.  Saved the extras in a container for the next morning.

Confession time…yes I do still occasionally buy the frozen pre made cakes but I am going to do my best effort to make batches ahead of time and use my sealer to keep them ready and in the freezer.  The from scratch ones that is.  I am truly amazed at how easy, tastier and healthier it is to make “Simply From Scratch”.   We are trying to keep a handle on funds and so if I can stay on the exterior of the store to buy fresh and not the interior for processed it does help.  The other factor is trying to clean eat.  With Cameron’s Asperger’s clean eating is essential. Disclaimer:  We are not perfect nor experts but simply parents who want to do the best for him and ourselves. 

Junior Mint channeling his inner Bobby Flay.

A hot cast iron griddle, not a must have, is a big help.  Thank you Erika and Randy for this gift from years past.  I love it still to this day.

 

Voila’ breakfast is served.  If you haven’t tried the Organic Syrup at Aldi you are missing out.  At $3.89 a bottle you can’t beat it.

The clean plate and purple stains around his mouth say it all.

daily jobs

In the great plan of organizing myself I have found it necessary and yes, ok, to divide my housework into daily chores.  When I was little we always cleaned the whole house, from top to bottom, on Saturday mornings.  Now I do realize that it was easiest to do it then because:

1. we were in school on weekdays
2. it kept us busy on Satuday mornings
3. the house would be all clean for the coming week
4. that is how my parents grew up

I am not complaining but I always hated Saturday mornings, especially when Dad decided that it was "clean out the garage" or "clean the windows" special project Saturday.  (Love you Dad!)  Yes, I can clean a window like no ones business with Vinegar, Water and scrunched up newspapers thanks to him. 

I read a recent  blog called Organizing Made Fun that I found on pinterest and she had some great ideas on organization plus the fact that she also has a son with high functioning Autism.  I felt a great connection with this Mama.  She divides her housework into 15 - 20 minutes a day.  I love it! 

I came up with a system of my own that seems to be working.  Mine is more of a 30 minute a day but it still works. 

• monday: bathrooms and laundry
• tuesday: change bed linens,special project
• wednesday: windex cabinet glass and mirrors, laundry
• thursday: mop floors, special projecty
• friday: dust, laundry

Everyday I vaccuum, when you have a dog, cat and 2 little boys this is a must.  I will tell you that I have hard woods and only 2 big area rugs so this does not require for than 10 minutes every morning.  My special projects can range from a closet clean out, go thru boys play room or any thing I deem necessary. 

I can't tell you how much this has helped me.  I truly don't feel so overwhelmed any more as for as a tidy house goes.  It may not always be in perfect condition but hey, I am a mom of 2 boys, watch a little one for a friend 2 days a week and run 2 businesses out of Green Acres.  Whose perfect?  I know I am not.