i seem to have lost something…

   I seem to have lost something…

Where did this confident Mama go?  Where has she placed her rhythm, her confidence, her structure?

This picture was taken 2 years ago when I started this quest to find a simpler life.  I seemed so together with a plan.  When did my sights get so foggy?  Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by life that you just want to dig a hole and crawl in?  Well if so come on the water is warm. 

This year has been so full of obstacles that I feel I am on a constant roller coaster.  Sometimes it is the ride of my life with sheer excitement and other times I just close my eyes and pray that I don’t fall off.  Between Cameron and the ever changing rhythm of Asperger’s, Henry and the two’s (enough said there), the constant change of members in the Sippy Cup Gang…I have lost my way.  Where is the Map, Garmin or trail boss because I have lost my way back to my “Rhythm of the Home”.

Mr. Miller and I had a long talk last night on the patio, long overdue, and he pointed out that I haven’t been myself and he is missing me.  Wow, that hits home in so many ways.  It’s true.  No spark, passion, mojo or whatever you want to call it.  I quit writing, sewing, reading and just plain enjoying my world around me.   Mr. Miller is willing to help me in any way he can.  We decided that maybe, just maybe I need routine as bad as my Cameron does.  Does routine = rhythm?  I don’t know but it is at least a starting point.

My first attempt has been planning next weeks menu for both dinner and the Sippy Cup Gang lunches.  Cameron is going back to school next week and it will be welcomed on so many levels.  I love my little man but he needs his school day routine as bad as I need my routine here.

I am going to work on getting my lesson plans in order for the Sippy Cup Gang as well.  Livi and Henry are ready for preschool and there is no reason that I can’t do this.  I have found some great resources, more to come later on that.

Thank you for listening and letting me put it all out there.  It does make me feel better.  I would ask for prayers, suggestions and kind thoughts if you want to share.

don’t mess with my little man cub

 

I recently encountered a situation that put me in full Mama Bear mode.  For the first time I witnessed another child purposely being cruel to my Cameron.  I know this probably wasn’t the first time nor will it be the last but it definitely got this Mama fired up. 

Here is the situation in a nutshell.  Cameron was obsessing over a movie, shocking I know to those of you that know my Cameron or any other Aspie, and this other child didn’t want to watch it.  He responded to Cameron with “what are you dumb or deaf?  I don’t want to watch that one!”  Not quite the response you want given to your son.  Long story short I diffused the situation and hopefully it is taken care of.  I will always be Cameron’s biggest champion, just ask him.  After all I am his Mama Bear and he is my little Man Cub.

I have been thinking about it constantly though.  Do people really take the time to teach their children about all of God’s Children and the different packages that they come in?  In this house we live by the Golden Rule, you know the one ~ Do unto others as you would have done unto you.  I hope that I am doing my sons a great value by teaching them to live that way.

I had recently been given a great book by a fellow STM parent, thank you Cathlin, called "How to Talk to an Autistic Kid" by Daniel Stefanski.  This is a great book geared to children partially because it was written by a 14 year old Autistic Boy who proclaims himself to by “Autistic and Artistic”.  He answers questions that are raised not only by other kids but other adults as well.

• Why does and autistic kid sometimes stand too close?
• Why won’t he look at me?  Does he really want to be friends?
• Why does he complain about the lights, the noise or the smell?
• Why does he talk about the same topic over and over?
• How should I act?  What can I say?  What can we do together?

I find it interesting that in the same week that this situation occurred I had only days earlier been lent this book.  Hmmm…OK God got the message loud and clear.  Sounds silly but it even helped Mr. Miller and myself to understand our little puzzle known as Cameron.

happy father’s day

 

 

in the beginning i hung on every word.

i wanted to be just like you.

as I grew, you may have thought,

“she’s not listening”.

don’t worry dad i heard everything.

without your guidance i wouldn't be

the woman i am today.

thank you for the foundation that will never go away.

i love you more than words can say,

happy father’s day dad.

 

Happy Father’s Day to all of the Dad’s in my life.  I love you all!

A very special Happy Father’s Day to you Mr. Miller from your Monkey’s!

Don’t worry Mr. Miller they were listening then and they will continue as they grow.  Thank you for being a wonderful father and husband.