A few weeks ago when I started this journey I feel it was more out of feeling sorry for myself. As I go down this path I feel that it goes deeper and deeper. I ask the questions, “why am I fat?”, “why can’t I take the weight off?”, “why can she eat anything and stay so thin?”.
This week I have had a few “post it notes” and I know it is only Tuesday. The first was the show “ heavy”, it premiered last night on A & E. What an eye opener, here are everyday people that are so morbidly obese and they are desperate for help. It goes so much further than the age old comment of “why don’t they just stop eating?”. I really felt a connection to one of the people last night. Then this morning my friend, Heather, posted a link that really made me think. In this link Shauna talks about it being “enough”, of course her “enough” was dealing with trying to conceive.
As I read the piece the question kept creeping up “when is my enough?”, well it is here. I am responsible for my future. I am responsible for steering the direction I am choosing on this journey. Yes, are there issues in my genetic make up that deter me from achieving my goals? You bet there are! But, it is my decision to fight them. I can do this!
I have had a better week on the journey. I finally got on the scale and saw a 5 lb achievement. I found the time to make my Wii appointments. I ran yesterday! Did you hear that? I ran. No more of the excuse, “only run when being chased”. It was a 5 minute run in place with the Wii but I did it.
So here is a thought I want to leave you with today. This is what sticks in my mind from that piece.
“I want to cultivate a deep sense of gratitude, of groundedness, of enough, even while I’m longing for something more. The longing and the gratitude, both. I’m practicing believing that God knows more than I know, that he sees what I can’t, that he’s weaving a future I can’t even imagine from where I sit this morning.
More than enough.” ~ Shauna Niequist
Take care and good luck on your journey this week.